A good topic to talk about is hard to come up with, believe me, I know. This is the fourth different attempt I’ve made at writing a Standard this week, and I’m not even sure if this is going to be the final draft. I always get to thinking about what books are “must read”, and then I go over the lists and….well, some of them impress me, some of them don’t, and others make me go “No shit”. I mean, I could come up with a list right now of ten books you need to read and it would be the same list everyone else pushes out that focuses on Alan Moore. I’m going to avoid that though, and I’m going to list off ten stories (all available in trade or hardcover) that I think everyone should read. Early warning, due to my health still bothering me, I’m splitting this into five this week and five next week.

The Ultimates
Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch

Big time blockbuster superheroes, Marvel style. The twenty-six combined issues of this series (combining the two volumes into one epic for the sake of this) took well over the suggested two years, clocking in at closer to five. Was it worth it though? Oh yes it was. On top of the epic blockbuster stories that Millar tells through the two volumes, combining super heroic with real life politics, we’re also treated to the gorgeous art of Bryan Hitch. He might be slow, but at least he does a great job.

What if the Avengers were created in a post 9/11 world? That is the underlying question of the book. What if Captain America were awoken during the George Bush administration (Dubbya even gets a few cameos)? SHIELD is SHIELD, and Nick Fury is Samuel “Mother Fuckin” Jackson, Tony Stark drinks like a fish, and Hank Pym beats his wife. It’s the Avengers, what can be said beyond that? How about alien conspiracies? Better yet, how about a giant rampaging cannibal Hulk? A giant rampaging cannibal Hulk screaming “Hulk want Freddie Prinze Jr.!”

Hilarity. Seriously. Some critics will call it a poor man’s Authority, but despite the obvious similarity as both share Hitch on art, they’re very different animals. And that’s not to take away from Authority which I’ll get around to talking about one of these days, but to give credit to Ultimates.Especially to the final arc of the run, “Grand Theft America”, which will forever go down as one of my favorite comic stories. It’s the kind of political piece on Bush’s America that’s told in a way that only someone who doesn’t live here can truly write. It lacks any pro-America bias and does its best to tell the story clearly while presenting the good and evil of both sides.

Very nice touch, very enjoyable…..and is it bad that I got a guilty pleasure out of watching Laura Bush ripped out of Air Force One in mid flight?

Hard Time
Steve Gerber and Brian Hurtt

Remember the DC Focus line? Don’t feel bad, I doubt most people will. After all, it was only three books. And only one of them lasted past six issues….Hard Time. Hard Time lasted twelve issues, and then made its way into a second volume that lasted another seven issues. I remember the line for the previews of the book “Oz meets My So Called Life”. I was sold immediately, you see, I LOVED Oz. To this day it’s one of my favorite shows, hands down and without question. When I watch Sarah Connor, I look at Dean Winters and still go “It’s Ryan!” But I digress, back to the point.

Hard Time is about a fifteen year old boy named Ethan who was involved in a school shooting. He and his friend, the constant victims of bullying, went into school with masks and guns. Ethan was under the impression that the guns were loaded with blanks, that they were just going to scare everyone. But then the bullets started flying, and people were dead, and a red monster that was invisible to everyone but the reader came out of Ethan and killed his friend. The judge, not wanting to seem even remotely lenient (despite that evidence proved that Ethan never fired a single bullet), sentences him to life in prison, up for parole in fifty years.

That was all in the first issue. Ethan didn’t go to juvie, or some low risk jail. He went to a big time, REAL jail. He got in to trouble with all sorts of people, not the least of which was the Aryan brotherhood (and if Oz taught me anything, nobody is more evil). Gerber developed and fleshed out a full list of supporting characters, each with their own importance to the overall story. A dangerous life in prison, an inability to truly trust anybody, and developing super powers. And Ethan wasn’t even sixteen.

The book wrapped up with its “Fifty Years Later” issue, coinciding with DC’s “One Year Later” month. It served as a recap of what happened to the cast after the book ended, giving us some semblance of closure to a book ended far too soon.

The Man Who Laughs
Ed Brubaker and Doug Mahnke

The definitive Joker story. Period. I don’t care how great the Killing Joke was, this is better. We’re given, not an origin story, but a first Joker story. The first time he showed his smile to the city, the first time he made his presence known. Year One is over, and the Long Halloween has yet to begin, but as the mob bosses start to feel the pressure of the Bat, and a young Dick Grayson still has another year before his fateful trip to Gotham, a sickening smile appears on TV. This is by far the shortest story on my list, but it’s one of the first you should go out and read if you haven’t.

We are “treated” to a look at how the Joker perfected his Smilex gas with a vision of a room of mangled corpses. Disturbing, to say the very least. Later in the same issue we get to see Bruce dose himself with the drug in an effort to beat it, granting him the first glimpse into Joker’s psyche. Unfortunately, with a book this size it’s hard to say too much without spoiling it, but it clearly defines who and what the Joker is in the Batman mythos.

Also, Doug Mahnke should get a regular gig drawing him. Seriously. It’s dark and scary and I fucking love it.

Rising Stars
J. Michael Straczynski

My friend Ike introduced me to this book about a year ago, and not for a moment have I regretted it. It’s hard to find an original take on super heroes, despite the size of the industry and just how popular they are. Sure, a lot of different concepts come out, but a lot of them feel pretty similar. There’s mutants, meta-humans, aliens, magic people, etc. It’s pretty much all in the origin. Well, Rising Stars has a pretty unique origin story. There was a flash in the sky over the town of Pedersen, Illinois and every child in utero at the time was endowed with special abilities. One hundred and thirteen of them, to be precise. There’s a variety of powers amongst them, though quite a few do carryover. It’s just them though, nobody else in the world has these abilities, and the government is just slightly terrified.

The story gives us a look at the world of Rising Stars through the eyes of John “Poet” Simon, and develops several others into strong supporting characters. As they grew older many stayed in their hometown and started families, others moved out to try and live in the world like the rest of humanity. One more or less became Batman, another is a super cop, there’s a corporate sponsor wearing the American flag, hell, there’s even the most beautiful woman in the world and a flying minister. The story opens with a murder mystery, as Specials have been getting murdered, and the surviving ones have been getting stronger because of it. John chooses to investigate it, and the path leads to the government attacking the Specials, killing several and creating a power surge among the survivors. The cost of this being the city of Chicago, which is taken by a Special named Critical Mass.

In the aftermath they pledge to change the world, and spend years helping humanity in their own ways. From cleaning up neighborhoods, to raising money for the needy, to one Special who disarmed every country in the world of their nukes. All except for one each. They set out to change the world, and they accomplish it in a most wondrous fashion. It even has a clean and fitting ending that takes the entire book full circle. Treat yourselves, hunt down this book.

The Books of Doom
Ed Brubaker and Pablo Raimondi

I always get the feeling that this book slipped under the radar for most readers, even Fantastic Four fans. Ed Brubaker gives us the definitive origin of Victor Von Doom, finally, after all these years. Throughout the years we’ve been given glimpses and looks here and there; we knew he was a gypsy, that his mother was in hell, that his childhood love was Valeria, and that while trying to see his mothers soul he created a machine that twisted his face. That is the Doom we know. The one that cursed Richards, blamed him for his tragic accident, and then came back as the ruler of his own country. But how did this gypsy get to be a student in America? And past that, how did he manage to conquer an entire country? Sure it was easy enough to accept in the sixties, but my entire life as a comic reader I’ve asked myself those questions thousands of times. It’s driven be mad.

A reporter goes to Castle Von Doom for an exclusive interview, the likes of which none have had before. She is able to talk to his servants, to formerly close friends that are still in the castle, to prisoners held for one reason or another. And Doom himself, of course. He tells her the entire story from beginning to end, something made easier by the revelation that Doom’s memory encompasses his entire life, without the usual times of childhood that the majority of us have no recollections of. It’s a thrilling and compelling story, one that humanizes Doom like few before it. Much like the Lex Luthor story put out by DC a few years ago, it doesn’t cast Doom in the role of a villain; on the other hand, it doesn’t truly position Doom as a hero until the battle of Latveria. Victor has always been arrogant, just as he’s always been brilliant. Even from the youngest of ages he thrived and found dominance, he spat in the face of adversity, and he took every hardship as a reason to further better himself.

I admittedly love Dr. Doom more than most villains, I mean, you all saw my list. So there’s plenty of bias here, but it’s still an amazing story. Ed Brubaker works wonders in taking full advantage of the wealth of continuity, tossing virtually nothing to the side. And the ending is absolutely perfect, and as much as I want to spoil it, I’m going to make you go out and read it!

Oh the dragons balls were blazin’ as I stepped into his cave, then I sliced his fuckin’ cockles, with a long and shiny blade!

Blue Beetle is canned….shot called that by accident during the solicit discussion as just a way of pissing off Glazer and yet….lookie here, no more Beetle. I never read it, but I do see it as unfortunate. I’ve a big supporter of expanding the comic universes, and adding and developing new characters, so any time a book like this gets canned I find myself frowning. First my Spider-Girl and Manhunter, and now this. It’s sad.

I watched Star Wars: Clone Wars the other night, the new animated one. Dear freaking God it was horrible. Fights were cool, voices were horrid, and it was blatantly produced to attract the kids. If Anakin had a tween Padawan between episodes two and three, I think we would have heard of her before, but no. No we haven’t, and she exists only in this movie and the TV show that spun off of it. That’s right! It’s a TV pilot with a theatrical release that I’m glad I missed! This movie wasn’t worth the hour and a half I attempted to devote to it, and I honestly can’t recommend it to anyone unless they have little kids who want to get into Star Wars. Then you can watch this with them. Way I see it, by the time they get old enough to watch the real things then this piece of trash won’t even be a memory.

Dexter keeps getting better by the week, and I absolutely love the character of Miguel Prado. This season so far has done an amazing job of reversing situations, and furthering along Dex’s evolution. With every episode we see him take step after step towards his humanity, becoming more and more of the person he never thought he could be as the days pass. He has a girlfriend, they’re engaged, they have a kid on the way, he has friends, he has a best friend. He’s a normal person who happens to kill people, rather than the eternal outsider always looking in. And then to contrast it, we have Miguel who was introduced as a highly respected district attorney, a champion of justice, and as the season has gone on we’ve witnessed his descent. Not that he’s hit rock bottom, not yet at least, but he’s begun to embrace the dark side more and more, calling for deaths rather than trials, and worse, calling for deaths outside of the code. Dexter won’t break his code, but Miguel is on a slippery slope. I figure that by the end of the season Dexter will have to kill his best friend in an effort to preserve the code of Harry. Though that’s too obvious, and they love to swerve us, so we’ll see how things go.
<<Note: This was written before I got to watch Dexter, but is being left unchanged>>

You know what really grinds my gears? People with superiority complexes. Can’t stand it. I mean, seriously, who wants to sit around with someone who’s completely infallible in every way, who is utterly perfect, and can do no wrong? Well, only if you ask them. It gets irritating because they ALWAYS know best, and if you don’t go along with them you have to deal with the fact that most double as whiny, obnoxious, bitches. Yes, I’ve dealt with quite a few lately, and I’ve discovered that WoW nerds tend to fit the profile well over half the time. If you’re sitting next to me, and I’m playing my character, don’t tell me what to do or I will abandon you without any sort of warning. If you invite me to a group and make me wait the better part of half an hour for a summon, don’t boot me the second you invite me because I started doing something else and all of the sudden need a minute. In other words, don’t be a jackass. Jackasses don’t get anywhere….well, except geared, but then they just tend to play with other jackasses and have a giant jackass guild of jackasses. Do you want to join the Hate Corps? Do you? You act enough like them, we can arrange it.

I absolutely adore Paul Dini on Detective Comics and hope daily that despitethe Bat events he remain the ongoing writer on the book. It’s easily the best Batman I’ve ever read, which is saying a lot since it’s competing with Grant Morrison. He gives the right kind of support everywhere it’s needed, and with this most recent arc it’s humanized Bruce in a way that I haven’t seen in far too long. And you also have to give him credit for taking Hush and not only making him dangerous, but making him incredibly compelling. I honestly can’t wait for the upcoming two parter with him now.

I just finished watching Tropic Thunder and…..I was not as impressed as everyone else I talked to about it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been hearing about it for so long, but I just didn’t get into it. That isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy it, which I did, but it didn’t do nearly as much for me as I was expecting. It was one of Ben Stiller’s better movies, and I was shocked momentarily when I saw that he more or less did everything for the movie. Then I understood plenty about it, after all, it’s Ben Stiller. Funny guy, good delivery, but needs the right kind of director to really get a decent performance out of him. Robert Downey Jr. stole the show though. Period.

Is there any basic cable TV series better then South Park? If there is, I’d like to see it, because South Park is going to most likely go down as one of my top five all time favorite shows. Even when I don’t get (or care) about the subject matter (High School Musical), I still crack up from beginning to end. Matt and Trey are brilliant with how they handle the show in that it never plays too hard to any one side, which gives them the ability to tackle more or less any topic. I adored the election episode, and if you haven’t seen it, you have to watch it and then realize that they only made one version of it. Classic.

Brock Lesnar is the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Wow, I never thought I’d see the day. Especially after Frank Mir nearly ripped his foot off during his UFC debut a few months back. In fact, kinda wondering, but how did Brock score a title match for his third fight when he submitted in the first round of one fight, and won by decision in the other? Shouldn’t it have gone to someone with an impressive record? Maybe it’s just me, but I thought that you needed to be a contender to get a title shot.

That’s a mountain of a man if I ever did see one.

I actually bought a book that was both written and drawn by Alex Ross…..and I feel dirty. I’ve seen some reviews for the Superman one shot online, pretty hit or miss. Well, I’m labeling it as a miss.

What I read this week:

• Action Comics
• Detective Comics
• Booster Gold
• Green Lantern Corps
• JSA Kingdom Come Special: Superman
• Manhunter
• Nightwing
• Amazing Spider-Girl

Best of the week:

1. Green Lantern Corps
2. Detective Comics
3. Action comics

What I watched this week:

• Entourage
• American Dad
• Family Guy
• Heroes
• Sarah Connor
• South Park
• Dexter

Worst movies I’ve seen lately:

• Mutant Chronicles
• Star Wars: Clone Wars
• eXistenZ
• Hancock
• The Marine

The Gold Standard

Last 5 posts by Grey Scherl

• The Gold Standard #19 - December 24th, 2008
• The Gold Standard #18 - December 17th, 2008
• The Gold Standard #17 - December 9th, 2008
• Avengers Power Review #3 - November 28th, 2008
• The Gold Standard #16 - November 25th, 2008